“I thought this was a ‘Saturday Night Live’ parody of a conference call,” CNBC’s Jim Cramer, referring to Snap’s post-earnings/post-loss (!) call w/analysts, which he didn’t think made a whole lot of sense, especially given the company’s ongoing problems.

Today's Curated NoPo Headlines - May 3, 2018

CONSUMER/PERSONAL FINANCE

Spotify earnings debut misses a beat; Ford expands safety recall to nearly 100,000 Transit vans in North America; Nouriel Roubini says bitcoin is ‘bulls-t’ and only attracts ‘suckers’; Home sellers using cameras, microphones to spy on house hunters?; Car subscription services cropping up in number of cities; New Jersey’s pork roll-flavored ice cream creation drawing mixed reviews; How Churchill Downs CEO stopped sale of Kentucky Derby; Why a lobster roll could cost you $$$ this summer [!!!!]; TSA’s award-winning Instagram account (hilarious and unexpected); America’s Best Employers 2018; Dunkin’ Donuts galaxy-inspired menu; Disney’s new bourbon trail.

HEALTH & WELLNESS

Reducing blood pressure? Treating addiction? The surprising health benefits of…mindfulness; Actress Shannen Doherty, who was diagnosed w/breast cancer in 2015, and in remission in 2017, reveals she will undergo unspecified surgery; 104-year-old Australian scientist travels to Switzerland to end his life; Vitamin brands like GNC and other legacy retailers suffering despite wellness boom; Lyme disease – what to expect this year .. and beyond; First death reported from E.coli outbreak in romaine lettuce; Raw oyster warning; Trader Joe’s gluten-free cauliflower gnocchi; Avo-lato, London’s new vegan dessert.

FASHION/BEAUTY

Is hair botox the secret to a blowout that lasts?; H&M joins brands like Nike…American Eagle…others…and introduces its own collection catering to the modest shopper (available online today); Macy’s makes interesting move — acquires New York-based concept shop Story, and names its founder ‘brand experience officer’; Birchbox ownership changes hands (couldn’t find suitable buyer); How to flawlessly rock a Kentucky Derby hat; The online underwear brands winning over customers; Sephora’s new in-store hydrating facial (free w/$75 purchase!).

FITNESS/DIET

Boutique fitness becoming intersection of fitness, feminism, mental health, women’s rights?; Healthy older people who exercise regularly have fewer problems with word retrieval; Fitbit’s fitness-tracker woes continue despite smartwatch push; Even small amounts of exercise can have big effect on happiness [Insert smile].

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