Opening Day! For the first time in 50 years, all 30 Major League Baseball teams are playing today.
“When you’re not happy with yourself, feeling upset and not great, you’re not going to succeed. Now I love myself and I feel happy looking in the mirror.” – 25-year old Jennifer Pamplona, who has thus far spent $500,000 on plastic surgeries to resemble her idol, Kim Kardashian.
“We were lonely, lost people. One thing led to another–you can call it God’s plan or nature’s plan.” — Elon Musk’s 72-year old father, Errol, who now has a new baby boy .. with his 30-year old .. stepdaughter.
“You kind of learn, when you get into this — it’s really hard to match what humans can do.“ — Robot expert and co-founder of Harvest CROO Robotics, Bob Pitzer, on a robot’s inability to do what any four-year old can do: pick strawberries.
“I didn’t know how well the colors would match, but now it’s my favorite look.” – 21-year old Amber Metcalfe, who recently traded in her two-toned pink and blue hair for a vibrant mix of red, orange, yellow, and green, taking the pet/owner selfie game to new levels.
“I think he knows who I am. But we haven’t had an up-close encounter.” — Tiger Woods fan, Hailey Milan, who has been at all five of Tiger’s PGA appearances, dressed provocatively, since his return. Hasn’t met Tiger, doesn’t even play golf, but senses special “connection”…
“Not that bad.” – Tom Brady, upon trying his first strawberry – ever – on national television. He chased it w/a pint of beer.